Accidentally Courting your Assassin
by Lady Hallen
Summary: Usually, the assassin's left after trying to kill Reborn. Except, all those other assassin's never fell in love with Reborn either. Otherwise known as Love at First Assassination Attempt


**Warnings: Graphic Exchange of Gifts. Let's leave it at that. Just. Really Graphic. I'm so sorry.**

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* * *

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The problem _wasn't_ that someone tried to assassinate Reborn.

Nope. That happened every other week or so and it happened without warning that Tsuna had gotten used to the sudden attacks. Being the World's Greatest Hitman wasn't just an empty boast and it meant that other assassins regularly came to test their mettle.

That was fine. It was fine! He was used to checking his food and his things and his bed and everywhere he stepped for traps. Watching Reborn react was amazing, because the attacks didn't fall through. Reborn was immune to an amazing amount of poisons, he was fast and nimble enough to avoid traps and attacks were scoffed at. Even distance shots from snipers were dodged at the last second.

No. The thing was, after testing themselves once on Reborn, assassins usually left.

And she did! Which was the usual.

Except, what was unusual was the pout on Reborn's face when he found out that she'd undone her bindings in the middle of the night and _stolen Reborn's fedora._

Reborn was usually very protective of his fedora and Tsuna couldn't even move it without setting off a hundred traps. And Tsuna had _seen_ Reborn kill and go on a rampage for his fedora.

That the assassin got away with just a pout.

 _That_. That was the problem.

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* * *

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"Harriet Potter," Hermione sighed.

Harry smiled winningly, a black fedora with a yellow band perched on her red hair. "Yes, Hermione."

Hermione dropped the stacks of paper on Harry's desk and scowled. "Harry, you made this organization to help orphaned children and to promote equality. You're hiring squibs and everything. You can't just hare off in the middle of the night and come back a week later! Where were you? I was worried sick!"

She dropped the smile and hugged Hermione around the waist. "Sorry. I just had to introduce myself to the local powers. They're all nice and very reasonable people."

The brunette sat down and gave the impression of 'not budging'. Harry resigned herself to explaining.

"Vongola is cleaning up Italy, Hermione. One of the things they don't tolerate is human trafficking. They have burned down organizations that deal with human trafficking and human experimentation. So. I just had to explain to them where our employees and orphans come from, so that they don't send someone to kill us all."

Hermione shook her head. "I think you're supposed to do an appointment when you do that, Harry. Arriving out of nowhere would be rude."

Harry blinked in surprise. "But I observed Vongola for a while. There's one super powerful guy there that everyone randomly attacks. Isn't he supposed to be the boss, if that's the case?"

Since Harry's sense of normal had been skewed by having Voldemort as an enemy, Hermione was her only basis of comparison.

And judging by Hermione's face, she had failed.

"Harry, people don't randomly attack their boss. That would be suicidal. Instead, you should have looked for the most protected person there," she answered patiently.

Thinking back on it, aside from the women and children, the most protected person who always had one person with him no matter the time of day was...

"There was that wimpy looking person who had a nice smile," she mused. "I thought he might have been the assistant though, with how he whined. He didn't even try to delegate his paperwork to anyone."

"That makes him a nice boss!" Hermione roared, finally fed up with the topic. "Unlike you! Finish signing, we need those requisition forms!"

Harry sulked and resigned herself to signing paperwork for the whole day.

Though...if she got the wrong person...does that mean she had to return the hat? She _liked_ the hat.

But...she liked the man who owned the hat too. He had such lovely fingers.

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* * *

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Three days later, Reborn entered his room to find a package of coffee beans, a cup of espresso and his fedora perched on his bed.

While he slowly checked his precious hat for any damage of tampering, Leon investigated the coffee and the beans for any signs of poison or irregularities.

When the chameleon didn't react, he took one cautious sip and went still.

He had a very discerning palate and he knew where the coffee came from. It was from his favorite coffee shop, in _Vienna._ He lived in the Vongola Mansion, in Italy. How on earth did she keep it warm? It was still _steaming_ when he arrived.

"How interesting," he mused.

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* * *

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Harry didn't exactly know _what_ she'd done, but she knows that it must be something because Hermione's smile was manic. And Ginny was right next to her, smile just as wide.

It worried her slightly. The last time she'd seen them together and that happy, Malfoy Manor exploded.

"You're too happy," Harry told them bluntly - suspiciously. "What happened now?"

Ginny giggled. "Such an accusatory tone. You remember that dirty politician that kept asking us for bribes when we set up a factory in his district? He gave us the green light to build our building, along with an additional fifty hectares. I can now add a laboratory for George."

Harry blinked several times just to parse through the words. Because that man had been the definition of greedy and he'd wanted them to pay him a tithe for everything they earned. On top of the taxes they paid yearly.

"None of you blackmailed him, did you?" she had to ask.

Hermione sniffed. "No. I'm even a bit irritated that we didn't think to do that first."

Ruthless, thy name was Hermione.

Harry gave a small smile at the thought. A ruthless Hermione was a scarily efficient Hermione.

"I'll check it out," Harry murmured. Because _something_ had happened and Harry didn't accept good fortune at face value anymore.

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* * *

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Tsuna was giving him a look, and if Reborn hadn't been so curious, he would have shot him on principle. He was much too young and inexperienced to be giving Reborn _looks_.

"You asked to see me?" Reborn asked.

The Vongola Decimo - and it was the Vongola Decimo in front of him now, not his student – handed him a folder, looking disturbed.

"Reborn, this was supposed to be your mark next week," Tsuna said, fingers massaging his temples in an effort to stave off the headache. "Because the Moretti were found doing human trafficking, targeting young tourists in airports. Except. Someone...I don't even know what to call it..."

Hayato Gokudera peered by Reborn's shoulder and Reborn allowed it, if only to share the beauty he was seeing.

"Is that...art? Using blood spray?" Gokudera asked. He didn't look disturbed but fascinated. So was Reborn.

"And they made the blood spray to resemble Leon," Reborn finished. He didn't quite manage to hide the smile in his voice and Tsuna groaned.

"Reborn," Tsuna said, voice going very near a whine. "The disposal team was _disturbed_. They clean up after _Hibari_ and they were disturbed. Do you know what it takes to disturb the disposal team?"

Reborn did know. But still, it took serious skill to calculate the blood spray and the angle to make a Leon painting. And he could tell it was just blood spray, no extra smears.

It was a beautiful bloody painting, and they'd done it for Reborn.

So. Maybe blackmailing that politician was worth it. It's not every day that he got to see art like this.

"Do you know who it is?" Tsuna asked.

An image of a redhead with a wicked smile appeared in his head and he shook his head with a wry smile. "Yes. I'll deal with it," he smiled.

Tsuna and Gokudera exchanged alarmed glances. They had never seen Reborn smile like _that_.

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* * *

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From Harry's office came loud, cackling laughter.

George, sitting beside Ginny and trying to parse through complicated and convoluted scientific reports, stiffened.

"Do you know something I don't?" he had to ask. Because the last time he heard her laugh like that was years ago, when Ron was still alive.

Ginny smirked. "It's complicated. It's almost like...well, it's either Harry's courting an assassin or she's being courted by an assassin. Either way, there's a very graphic exchange of gifts going on."

Graphic was a nice word for it. Ginny didn't even know you could calculate blood pressure to make an arterial blood spray art. But Harry did it.

"I'm curious," Ginny murmured. "I'll go check out what he's got her this time."

A moment later, Ginny came back looking bemused.

"What?" George asked, unable to take the suspense anymore.

Ginny shook her head, red strands that were lose from her braid going everywhere. "He got her poetry. Using _viscera_ as a writing medium."

George blinked. "Visc – Ginny, you don't mean _intestines_ , do you? Because that's just unhygienic."

Hermione, rushing past them with a long-suffering expression, stopped and groaned. "George, you're missing the point. You're supposed to say, 'It's creepy, it's disturbing, can we please get a restraining order?' instead of pointing out the lack of hygiene!"

Ginny ignored Hermione. "What intestines did he even use, is my question."

"You're as bad as everyone else," Hermione huffed. "I have to dispose of it now. The kids shouldn't see this."

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* * *

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Reborn's delighted laughter when he saw the folder in Tsuna's hand was full of schadenfreude.

Gokudera, no fool, took one step back. Tsuna was just grateful that he was sitting down, because in all the years he had been with Reborn, he had never heard him laugh that happily unless there was mass destruction involved.

"How did she do this?" Reborn asked. "It's brilliant."

Yamamoto, drawn in by the sound of laughter, wandered in and looked over Reborn's shoulder.

"Wow," Yamamoto said in that oblivious tone that pissed off Gokudera. "I didn't even know you could lock up the Beneventi! I thought they had paid off all the judges, the police and the detectives?"

"You can't," Tsuna answered dryly. "I tried once, do you remember? They just got out and wandered around again in a week. Those connections run deep."

And the act itself was amazing, because she had gotten the whole famiglia. Even the footmen, the errand boys and the scullery maids.

"The boss is under a life sentence, the guardians are serving for thirty years and the rest are serving for ten," Reborn read out, plain admiration in his voice. "Even Viper would have a hard time doing this. She must have gone straight to the Prime Minister of France himself."

Tsuna held out a hand and Gokudera slapped a bottle of sake on it.

"It's a woman, of course it's a woman," Tsuna muttered. "Reborn, can you settle this? Your weird, non-flirting? What happened to letters, roses and sweets?"

Reborn scoffed. "Boring. Where's the fun in that?"

Tsuna downed the entire bottle in one go, internally screaming the whole time.

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* * *

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"Hermione, we're pretty sure the assassin courting her is a _muggle_ , right?" Ginny asked.

Hermione didn't answer, pretty much transfixed on the painting of Voldemort being roasted alive on a stake. Harry was absolutely no help, giggling every time the moving painting restarted again, with Voldemort being dragged there by Grawp, tied to a stake and then lit on fire by a cackling redhead that vaguely resembled Ron. The silent screams as painting-Voldemort burned were an extra touch.

It was beautiful.

If Harry wasn't already invested in that man, Ginny would have tried to have a go at him herself.

Harry turned to them; eyes alight with laughter and happiness. It took Ginny's breath away. Moving to Italy and helping out a dozen orphans in need had lightened the darkness in Harry's eyes but this was the first time that she had seen her friend smile again and smile like she meant it.

"Guys, I don't know how he got this, but..." she paused, looking insecure and hesitant.

George swooped down and noogied her on the head. "Aw, scarface. If you want some time off so you can hunt down your assassin, you can always say so! Just come back after a week, or else we'll hunt you down!"

Hermione nodded. "I approve. This is a tasteful gift."

Everybody tactfully ignored the tears that glistened down Hermione's cheeks.

Ginny's smirk was wicked. "Tie him down, Potter. Tie him down and drag him here. It's time for an introduction."

Of course, Harry, being Harry, took them all literally.

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* * *

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Reborn woke up with his wrists handcuffed to the bed posts and his body weighted down by another body.

"You made me wait," he announced.

The redhead napping on him blinked awake and smiled sleepily, "It took a while. Did you receive my gifts?"

"You really went beyond my expectations," he said. "Now, you've caught me."

Harry grinned. "I've caught you. It's your fault, teasing me like that. Such lovely erotic poetry you sent me."

Catching her eyes, he nodded minutely and she laughed, delighted and started to undo his shirt. With her mouth.

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* * *

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 **Bonus scene:**

There was a perfectly preserved head among the fruit basket. Specifically, the head of the Rivera family.

Tsuna only managed to refrain from sighing through sheer willpower. That, and practice.

"I thought the crazy gift giving would _stop_ once she dragged him to bed?" Gokudera muttered, saying out loud everything going on in Tsuna's head.

They were certainly loud enough at night; he really had to wonder where they got all their energy. Because he wanted to bottle it and put it for sale. He'd be a billionaire in short order.

Then a thought wandered through Tsuna's brain that made him want to cry.

He had to share it.

"Gokudera-kun," Tsuna said with trepidation. "Reborn is a hitman and she's an assassin, right? If they do courting like this, what does Hibari-san do for courting?"

Both of them went a bit blank at the thought. The only thing in mind was an island sinking to the sea.

Yamamoto, on Tsuna's other side, laughed cheerfully. "I heard that when Squalo and Xanxus went courting, there was a mass grave being dug beside the Varia Mansion."

Gokudera leapt for Yamamoto's throat with his _teeth._

Tsuna buried his head in hands and started laughing. Either that or sob hysterically.

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* * *

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 **Harry didn't actually intend to give Reborn gifts. She left the coffee as an apology. Things just...escalated from there. And then she finally got a clue when she got erotic poetry via viscera...**

 **Harry's gifts to Reborn – Food (coffee), Art, the Beneventi.**

 **Reborn's gifts to Harry – Additional land, Poetry and Art.**

 **Like, lmao. Both of you need to talk.**

 **Reviews please!**


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